This is Jude. He’s my less famous twin, though he doesn’t seem to mind it. He’s pretty content staring at his big sister, chewing on his fingers, and yesterday–he found his penis. It was kind of a big deal.
Having Jude in my life has made my journey with Gideon so much easier. There have been so many time I’ve wanted desperately to pick up Gideon from his hospital bed, squeeze him in my arms and bury my face in his chubby little neck. But I can’t. So I go home and do that with Jude, and it feels amazing. I used to feel guilty for celebrating Jude’s milestones like rolling over or picking up a toy. Why should I be happy for Jude when Gideon is stuck in the hospital missing out on these developmental landmarks?
I’ve now realized that my guilt doesn’t get my anywhere. It only robs me of enjoying these precious, fleeting moments I have with my amazing miracle, Jude. So I celebrate now, and make a big deal of the little things that Jude does…even finding his penis.
Update on Gideon:
Gideon is still struggling to wean down on his ventilator. Thursday or Friday the docs will put a scope down his airway to see if there is scar tissue from the first time his was ventilated. If there is scar tissue, it may be constricting his trachea and making it difficult to breath. I know, UGH. But he contiues to fight another day, so we fight along side him.
I can’t thank you all enough for your prayers, your encouragement and your willingness to share your own stories with me. It means the world to have a global community in my corner. I love you all.