This is Jude. He’s my less famous twin, though he doesn’t seem to mind it. He’s pretty content staring at his big sister, chewing on his fingers, and yesterday–he found his penis. It was kind of a big deal.
Having Jude in my life has made my journey with Gideon so much easier. There have been so many time I’ve wanted desperately to pick up Gideon from his hospital bed, squeeze him in my arms and bury my face in his chubby little neck. But I can’t. So I go home and do that with Jude, and it feels amazing. I used to feel guilty for celebrating Jude’s milestones like rolling over or picking up a toy. Why should I be happy for Jude when Gideon is stuck in the hospital missing out on these developmental landmarks?
I’ve now realized that my guilt doesn’t get my anywhere. It only robs me of enjoying these precious, fleeting moments I have with my amazing miracle, Jude. So I celebrate now, and make a big deal of the little things that Jude does…even finding his penis.
Update on Gideon:
Gideon is still struggling to wean down on his ventilator. Thursday or Friday the docs will put a scope down his airway to see if there is scar tissue from the first time his was ventilated. If there is scar tissue, it may be constricting his trachea and making it difficult to breath. I know, UGH. But he contiues to fight another day, so we fight along side him.
I can’t thank you all enough for your prayers, your encouragement and your willingness to share your own stories with me. It means the world to have a global community in my corner. I love you all.
kp spaces is a place where I hope you can find inspiration, how to ideas, and answers to your design dilemmas. I am passionate about interior design and I hope to share some of what I have learned with all of you! Best, Keri
This post makes me so happy. I’d say it’s my favorite, but then I think they are all tied for favorite. The real crux of human character is whether we can find the beauty in life despite adversity, or succumb to it. Clearly you have mastered that art. God bless BOTH of those little blue eyed miracles.
Love it. Love it. Love them both and love you.
Love you, friend.
You continue to amaze me! What a beautiful tribute to both your boys!
Thank you for sharing your incredible journey with any who wish to follow. Your story is amazing, courageous, heart touching and life changing. Your boys are such a blessing and you’ve truly inspired a life of living in the moments as we don’t know what tomorrow brings. I know I will hug my minis a little longer!
It’s a small world! I follow my fellow PA friend Tara Hook on facebook. I’ve been praying for this sweet baby Gideon that she has posted about several times. I also follow the Jones Design Company blog and she linked to your site recently. I was so moved by your strength and your sweet baby’s fight. It was a day later that I made the connection. Thank you for having the courage to share your story. Thank you for living an example of living in the moment and treasuring all of life’s milestones!
Thanks so much for your encouragement, Erin! And P.S. I wouldn’t have been able to get through this without Tara!! (But I’m sure I didn’t need to tell you that!)
Keri, you are a personal hero, your courage amazes me. Somedays I think it is because of Jude’s big smiles and contagious laughter that we are able to cope with the heartache of Giddy’s struggle. I love both of them so very much!